Merry American Christmas? No–there’s 51 countries (including the principality of Washington DC) in the United States, so that doesn’t do it. Merry Californian Christmas? Nup. As any map of how folks voted in the recall election two years ago will show you, California is a patchwork of different cultures and political leanings.

Merry Bay Area Christmas, then? Uh-uh. The fabled cultural diversity that is the San Francisco Bay Area is solidifying into a kind of re-tooled world atlas with Europe, Asia and the Pacific predominating in the West Bay, while the East Bay hosts Africa, those parts of the American continents below the US border, and South and South West Asia.